my old fren ..

so there she was .. sitting in the street corner, rite outside my school gates .. i musta been in my first grade when i first saw her .. she looked a li'l scary to me, at that age .. now i know better than to go by looks .. but then, i was jus a kid and first impressions were the looks .. and i was a bit intimidated by her appearance .. so i hadnt approached her for a long time ..
one fine day, i mustered enough courage and staggered on to the place she was sitting .. she looked up at me and asked wat i wanted .. i ddint answer .. i focussed my range of view on the big round earrings she wore ... she asked me again wat i wanted .. i opened my mouth to say s'thing but couldnt think of anything to say and closed my mouth .. she turned the attention to some other customer and that gave me a chance to look close at her .. she had shrivelled skin .. coffee brown .. large hands with metal bangles .. small ears with large round earrings .. and small green eyes ..her eyes !! .. the source of attraction for me .. those green eyes had a kind of strange sadness about them, giving her on the whole, a meloncholy look ..
the customer had left and now i was the only one near her cot , wre she sold an array of odds n ends .. she turned her attention once again to me .. i hurriedly looked down at my feet .. dont know wat she thought , she kept quiet .. i remained lookin at my feet for a few seconds .. one min .. two .. a few min .. then, not hearing any sound, i slowly looked up, half expecting her to ve packed up n left for the day .. she was lookin at me kindly with a half smile playing on her lips .. dunno y, but i was reminded of gran ... i ran away from there with tears in my eyes , on being reminded of gran ..i missed her so ...
i didnt go near her cot for a few days again .. but as fate goes, i was forced to go to her cot again .. mom was late that day and the school gates wre closed by 6 .. it started raining and not knowing wre else to go, i went and stood near her cot , which was protected by the shelter of the big banyan tree .. she recognized me and smiled .. i slowly smiled back and looked about me .. there was jus the two of us .. she didnt talk .. i didnt either .. each wre lost in her own thoughts .. it stopped raining and it started gettin darker .. i realized t'was past her closing time .. but she didnt seem to b in any hurry to pack up .. suddnely, she said "u remind me of my grandson" ... tears glistened in her eyes .. i kept quiet, as that was the best i could manage to do .. mom came .. and i climbed into the front seat .. she was closing shop when i peeped outta the car while mom reveresed.. she waved .. i didnt wave back ..
i waited for mom the next day also, standin near the old lady's cot .. she gave me a toffee from her spread on the cot .. i refused .. i left when mom came, but i waved back to her ..
this became a routine .. v never talked much, but v felt each other's presence like the closest of buddies .. she alwayz had a smile for me when i went and a wave for me when i left, with that wistful look in her eyes ..
then dad got transferred .. and i had to go with him .. i told my old fren that i was leavin and 'll not come from the next day .. she jus looked .. and nodded .. when i was leavin , i saw tears sparkling in her eyes .. she pressed her hands into mine and when she withdrew 'em, i saw a small stone carving .. s'one had done an amateur job of carving a li'l kid .. i dont know y, but i started crying too .. mom asked wat was wrong .. i ddint tel anything ..
i started school in the new city .. but i coudlnt help missing the old lady who had become a close fren ... i felt withdrawn and mom n dad assumed t'was caz i missed my old school .. but i missed the old lady and the comradeship v shared ..
after many many yrs, i still had the same feeling for the old lady .. when dad got transferred back to the old city again, i was more than ecstatic bot it .. i ran to school , as soon as v shifted in.. but much to my dismay, the tree that sheltered the cot was no longer there .. so was the cot - missing .. in itz place, there was a rusted board saying 'govt property' and the place was strewn with garbage .. i recalled the tree, the clean clearing under it wre the cot stood .. and the old lady sitting in a low stool rite next to the cot .. with her sad, green eyes which never failed to brighten up when they saw me .. i remembered her teary eyes lookin at me on the day i left .. i felt a pain stab in my heart .. i jus blinked away tears and went back home .. back to being the boy who longed to see his long lost fren once again .. knowing , it wud never happen !!!

The Decision ...

He opened his book .. with the resolve to complete atleast one chapter .. but he couldn’t manage even a line , forget a chapter .. he was too worried and tensed , for him to be able to concentrate ... people do make mistakes, he tried comforting himself ... 'but not such a big mistake .. mistakes!! .. so many !! ' - his conscience mocked .. he was far too into it for him to be able to come out of it now .. he tried telling himself he'll stop .. tomorrow .. it was alwayz tomorrow .. but tomorrow never has dawned yet .. not for him ... he thought of mama ... mama would b deeply hurt .. she would cry and throw a tantrum if she ever found out .. papa was different though ... he would calmly take the news and then disown him as if he were discarding a waste paper ... that was papa for u ...
he couldn’t remember how and when he started ... probably his dad was to be blamed too .. if he had not been as strict as he was ... if he had been more open and warm to him .. if he had told it in words and actions that he loved him .. if only papa had told him once ..
mama was the opposite ... all she really cared bot was whether he and papa were fed wel .. her world was the kitchen ... like papa's was his study or the college wre he taught in the other end of the city ...
papa hated drug addicts ... so, that much was clear - he would hate him the moment he hears about it .... he split open the hem of his cotton shirt and out spilled a few packets of ketamine and cocaine .. enough for a week .. his hands played with it while his mind was racing .. was this the right decision?? will it hurt papa and mama too much?? would him being around reminding them hurt more?? the conflict in his head was giving him a head ache ... when he could no longer put up with the pain, he tore open a packet and started rolling out all of it ..
his mom would know when she peeped into his room later in the nite that her son was sleeping peacefully ..but she wouldn’t know it was also an eternal sleep ..

The Wait ...

She was waiting .. for him ... for the electric train to enter the station ... for him to peek outside from the train searching for her ... she knew he 'll .. he alwayz did .. she didnt know why she was doing this .. she has never spoken to him .. not once .. but she knew he would search for her and she didnt wanna disappoint him ... she stood there patiently .. she did not mind the crowd shoving her this side and that .. she did not mind the combined smell of the ditch, dirt, coffee, hot bajjis, sweat and wat not .. she just stood there oblivious to everything and everyone , lost in her thoughts ... of him ..

He rushed from his cabin after sending his status mail in a hurry .. he was not sure if he had sent the mail to the rite mail id .. but he was not worried about that .. he would take care of that tomorrow .. rite now all he can think about was that he mustn't miss the electric train .. the station was a short run from office and he sprinted towards it navigating through the mass of people walking, cycling or jus standing ... he nearly tripped over a street dog and dropped his file and papers scattered on the pavement .. he hurriedly clutched at the loose sheets and stuffed 'em back into the file while still moving towards the station ... he saw with a sinking feeling the long queue at the ticket counter .. he decided it wouldn’t be possible to get the tickets and still be in time for the train .. he kept moving towards his platform and by the time he reached, his train had started to move .. he quickened his pace and hurled himself into the train pushing people out of his way .. the train was already packed and he barely managed to get some foot hold ... he was hanging half outside and some one took pity on him and made a li'l standing space ... thanking his stars, he impatiently drummed his fingers on his file waiting for the train to reach his destination ...

She finally saw him .... and he saw her too .. the train came to a halt and he was pushed on to the platform by co-passengers .. they looked and then each went his/her way ... waiting for the next day ...

There was some story contest in our company and i decided to send in a story too .. the topics was given to us and i chose the below one :) .. and the lines in BOLD wre also given along with the topic (there wre 3 topics with 3 BOLD lines each) .. and in case u wre wondering if i won, naaa ... :) the story got selected for the top 25 entries .. but i didnt win a prize .. so, guess thats enough .. now for the story ...

My Tryst with Destiny.
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"Papa don’t preach"
But he did not seem to hear me.
"This is not the first time I have got this complaint. And he's not the first person to say so either. This must be the last time 'm to hear such things from anyone. One more complaint and I am taking away your vehicle forever... blah blah blah" – he went on.
"Confiscating the vehicle will not mean i can’t manage to borrow someone else’s or smuggle my own" – I, usually when in my most-rebellious mood, feel like screaming at Papa. But i knew when i needed to keep my big mouth shut. So I just stared at my painting hanging on the wall above the fireplace which Mama had loved so much that she hung it there in spite of my bro's threats that he won’t enter the hall if the painting is hung. The reason he hated it so much was, i actually had tried to capture him and my puppy playing in the garden but it turned out to be something better than them both.

Back in my room, i tossed my bag on my bed and climbed on my favorite spot, the broad window sill. I had been driving fast and one of my father’s friends happened to see me just then and called up Papa about it. And that was the reason for all the preaching by Papa.
"Anoooooooooooooooooo .... Cal for yaaaaaaa" – my brother Vicky
"Yeah cominggggggggggggg ..."
It was Nikki – Nikita – my doctor sis. She wanted me to pick her up at the hospital. I grabbed the library books that i had to return, pulled on my jersey and hunted down my vehicle keys. It was raining and I raced through the street before papa got to the window and saw me speeding away.

Raindrops kept falling on my head
as I stood waiting for Nikki. She was attending to a kid who had fallen down the stairs and broken his leg. Nikki was such an adorable person and standing there in the corridor with raindrops falling on me, i felt so grateful that she was my sis. She saw me looking at her adoringly and smiled and I waved back. I walked up to her room and told her i would return the books and be back before she was done with the kid and left her to care for her little patient.
As I drove to the library thinking of her and Vicky and Papa, I suddenly felt guilty for being the black sheep of the family and slowed down. I decided to drive in a reasonable speed and having made that decision, i felt good inside. It was then, when i was filled with all reformation thoughts and happy days that lay ahead ,flashing thro my mind in a slide show, that i felt sudden sharp pain course thro my body. I heard screeches of brakes and voices cursing the drunk who crashed into my bike. Someone explained to the crowd that had gathered that t'was a drunken lorry driver who had crashed into a kid’s bike. Papa's voice sounded far away admonishing me about driving fast. I wanted to tel him 'i didn’t drive fast Papa’. But I lost consciousness.
When i woke up, I saw Nikki, tears streaming down her cheeks. I wanted to ask her a lot of questions ...questions like, did papa know bot the accident and did he know it was not my mistake or that i was driving slow like he told and that I had vowed never to drive fast or .. .. .. I saw everyone crying. I felt someone tugging at my sleeves. But I wanted to see Papa , talk to him.

And at last I saw him with tears in his eyes... I have never seen Papa cry, not even when Mama passed away. I wanted to hug him and comfort him and wipe away his tears .. I wanted to thank him for all the sacrifices he had done for our sakes. I wanted him to know that t’was not my mistake and lot more…. I wanted to be sure he was not angry with me. Suddenly I heard papa telling someone that he knew his daughter was not at fault. A huge burden lifted off my heart when I heard that and my heart felt light. And now I didn’t mind the angel - who had been tugging at my sleeves - Leading me to the stairway to heaven.

i luv walkin in the rain ...
luv it more when my mom chides me for that when i go home !!!

i luv soap bubbles ..
luv it more when i blow it for kids who jump with joy and try to catch it in their li'l hands!!!

i luv babies ..
luv 'em more when they reciprocate the luv ;) !!!

i luv cricket ..
luv it more if itz those high school kids 'm playing with, at our street corner ..

i luv cooking ..
luv it more when they relish devouring it!!!

i luv the rainbow ...
luv it more when itz not in my desktop or a fwd but for real !!!

i luv jeans ..
luv it more if itz really old, faded and worn out !!!

i luv weekends ...
luv it more when itz a gud looonnnggg weekend!!!

i luv my wallet ..
luv it all the more if itz heavy with cash !!!

i luv chocolates ..
luv it more for the smile it brings when i share it with ppl !!

i luv driving ..
luv it more if itz a drive in my Robbie in a long-smooth-free road!!!

i luv badminton ..
luv it more when itz me whoz winning :P !!!

i luv coffee ...
luv it more with a interesting book on a rainy day!!!

i luv fresh morning air ..
luv it more if itz a day when i stay up (reading a book thro the nite , in my terrace) to see the sun rising !!!

i luv evening breeze ..
luv it caz it means 'm not stuck in AC / indoors / office that day :P!!

i luv lollipops ..
luv it caz it brings back too many fond memories .. of sharing a single lollipop among five of us or fighting for it with the donkey i grew up with or for the simple fact that i didnt ve much money those days, so still knew how much two rupees meant!!

So, u must b wondering wat ‘m trying to drive at … nothing … itz jus a random post .. been ages since I posted and didn’t know wat to post .. stumbled across a word doc in my really ‘vetti’ folders in my desktop and this was in it .. so ctrl-c-ctrl-v’d it … :))) now , c’mon don’t scold … I luv y’all too ;)

After the rains, the 40 min travel to office has hiked up to 1.30 hours travel much to the chagrin of all of us .. there wre days when i used to njoy the travel hours .. but when the deliverables are in the peak and u s'times r forced to work late and weekends, then u stop njoy'n these hours ... esp. in the mornings ...all that is in the top of ur minds is that u need to reach as soon as possible ....
today being one such day, i was impatiently sitting in the usual last seat ( my stop being one of the last ones, the bus is alwayz full by the time i board and thankfully, at least i manage to get a window seat even if its the last seat) ... t'was already quarter to nine .. the bus was wading (yup!!! the roads r flooded with rain water knee deep at places) thro a particularly horrid stretch of road and i was barely managing to keep my head from hitting the roof of the bus and the seat in front of me .. when i saw a kid and his dad .. they wre trying to walk on the footpath which was flooded .. s'one had put sacks of hardened cement and big rocks so ppl can hop on 'em and avoid getting wet ... the kid was hopping on the stones when suddenly he lost his balance and fell into the puddle of water ...
Everyone nearby cast worried glances at the kid until they saw his soaking head emerge with a big grin.. t'was their turn to smile at the happy kid ... the dad then lifted the kid on his shoulders and they crossed the flooded stretch both smiling from ear to ear ... the kid at one point let go of his Hawaii chappals and the dad had to fetch it for him .. and he did that without getting angry with the kid ... t'was a pleasant sight after seeing ppl alwayz irritated with the after effects of rain .. and rightfully too .. the rains had made Chennai all the more dirty than wat t'was b4 ....
it made me forget my immediate worry of reaching early to work and i , like many in that area, njoy'd the moment ...
but then like all gud things come to an end .... this gud feeling too lasted only until i saw the father and kid enter the wine shop !!!

Ninety seconds at a traffic signal !!!

CRASHHHH.. .. screeechhhh ... crunch .. runch rrrrunch!!!!!! .. i turned around to c wat the commotion was all bot , though t'was not hard to guess wat wud ve happened .. a bike had crashed into a car that had braked suddenly caz of the red signal ..

The traffic signal in the venkatnarayana road has alwayz (from the day i ve been in Chennai) been this way .... the signal turns red in 30 seconds and not many vehicles can make it in that 30 seconds ...... so obviously some try to drive even after the signal turns red and create a big head ache for the traffic police .. and some other unsuspecting new-ones-to-that-area end up braking in the last minute .. and the above incident is wat happens ...

the car owner was yelling at the biker and the biker was defending himself ... everyone else - which includes me too- wre jus being audience to the scene .. the traffic police who was on the other side of the road was looking in our direction - unable to cross the road as vehicles wre zooming past in the other direction and not knowin wat to do ..

A poor woman with a few months ol’ baby was begging for money from all the ppl waiting for the signal to change to green … many cycle-walas wre busy lifting their cycles and putting ‘em on the footpath and makin their way to the front of the waiting crowd of vehicles .. and in the process making it tougher for the ppl who wre walking on the footpath ….

A dog appeared outta no wre – actually, from the side entrance of a wine shop which was, sadly , doin a very gud business even though t’was jus six thirty in the evening .. I jus looked at the dog weaving thro the maze of vehicles and it went on to the ‘kaiyendhi bhavan’ (road side food shop) and wagged itz tail sweetly to the owner of the shop … he gave him s’thing to eat and the dog licked his legs and settled down to ve his dinner …

The sound of s’one tapping on the glass window of the car in front of me diverted my attention form the dog … t’was the lady with the kid askin the car owner for some money … my mobile seemed to scream rite at the moment .. t’was a fren scolding for not returning her cal .. “very sorry re .. outgoin is barred as I ven;t paid my bill .. ‘ll cal ya once it gets activated .. “ - that was me …. And suddenly I was guilt stricken .. here I was paying a phone bill of 1500 bucks or more a month and there wre ppl who wre begging for fives on the road … I hunted in my jean pocket for some change and unsuccessful, got down from my Robbie and took out my wallet from the box under my seat … took out a five rupee coin in my hurry and gave it to the lady and the signal had turned to green by then …. Ppl behind me started horning as I was blockin their way and I was still tryin to get my keys clumsily in itz place .. everyone started givin me this u-clumsy-brainless-female-blocking-our-way look …… but there was this ol’ man in a cycle who waited patiently and gave me this take-it-easy-itz-part-of-life smile which relaxed me a bit and then I was on my way after the 90 seconds wait in the signal …

Initially when I drove in Chennai, I used to curse these long waits in the signals but nowadays I don’t .. however much of a hurry ‘m in, this one and half min wait in the signal makes my nerves relax .. gives me a chance to look at ppl other than me, my family and my frenz .. makes me realize how much I have taken for granted in life … and also, I get to c ppl with so many different mannerisms and characters …and helps me acquire patience .. :P .. itz a fascinating and educating experience altogether .. :))))
cheerz, anu :)